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Here, I will describe some of the common red flags that unhappily married male clients recount when recalling their courtship, and what they wish they would have taken more seriously before deciding to marry their wives.

Please leave your comments! This post was originally published here on Dr. Psych Mom. Follow Dr.

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Sexual openness. Note that I don't say sexual desire, because women's desire can sharply nosedive within a long term monogamous relationship.

Desire also waxes and wanes over time and throughout different life stages for instance, women's sex drive when nursing is particularly low. A higher level of hormonally-fueled honeymoon stage sexual desire can also mask a deeper level of anxiety or closedmindedness about sex.

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General rule: Then you can weather the ups and downs of sex drive and not fall into a sexless marriage. This is subjective of course, but guys who feel they have lucked out by marrying attractive wives end up happier overall.

It's science!

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Attractiveness isn't everything, but, particularly for males who are more visually oriented, it is something that can keep a man feeling happier and better able to withstand monotogamy. Note that if you are sex with friends mom a woman primarily for loooking body, her body may change drastically after kids. This goes for men and woman both, although women seem to mind men's general aging-related deterioration less, as we aren't as visually-oriented, biologically.

Intelligence and education level similar to.

When a man feels like he has married a woman who is less intelligent or educated than himself, this only stays "cute" in the initial dating phase, or possible early marriage. I have many intelligent male clients who married women whom they always, in the back of their minds, considered less intelligent than themselves.

They felt other variables compensated, like the aforementioned looks and sex, and kindness or a fun personality. In the 's, many women played the "ditz" card with their husbands, who may have found it endearing.

This worked when the husbands were expected to have the final word in all important decisions. Looking for a good woman to hang out with, women want, and should have, an equal voice in childrearing and home management, and if their husbands look down on their decision-making capacity, this will lead to extensive resentment and conflict.

Inlaws that allow the woman to become a separate adult. Many men are very frustrated with a wife whose family keeps her in a "little girl" role and this is true for women whose husbands are treated as cutely irresponsible boys far into adulthood by their parents, as.

Read about this dynamic herefor both genders. Some guys are fine with marrying "Daddy's girl" who always calls her dad for financial advice and if she has a flat tire, even after marriage. Some guys are not, and always find themselves competing with their wife's dad or sometimes brothers for their wife's admiration and respect. Lookong couples counseling, I have had women outright compare their husbands unfavorably to their own fathers.

This is a dynamic that will not resolve ever; even when the father passes away, you'll be compared to his memory, looking for a good woman to hang out with will become even more idealized looking for a good woman to hang out with time. Not much drama. But, after you have uang, your wife throwing stuff at you and screaming about how you're a jerk pleasure zone for nsa sex chat going to be a lot less stimulating, because of two key outt And also read this book.

You both want kids, and the same number. Many women will resent you forever if she ho pictured having three kids and you are firm on sticking to two. And don't even get started on if you don't want any kids and she does.

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Make sure you both are happily childfree, want one, or want five, whatever the case may be. Also, if you're in a dynamic where you're eventually going to have more kids if she really wants them anyway many guys are in this dynamichng it's better to make peace with this and plan for more kids with an open heart versus with sulkiness and grudge-holding.

You're both on board with whether she will work after having kids. This is a big source of resentment for many men. They feel that lpoking married a looking for a good woman to hang out with woman with good earning getting over a lover, and then they are flummoxed when she chooses to be a stay at home mom.

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Frequently, they end up criticizing herwhich of course leads to bitterness and distance. If local women personals Sammamish Washington a two income household is extremely important to you, it is essential that you state this from the beginning of any discussions about the future.

If you marry a woman who hates her job, then, llooking least subconsciously, she may looking for a good woman to hang out with hoping to quit it when she has kids.

Incidentally, if you want to be a SAHD stay at home dadthis should be discussed as. More women may be open to it than you would think, and the number of couples like this will only increase over time, as people move out of traditional gender roles and more into what roles suit them as individuals.

Financial compatibility.

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Many women choose to be stay at home moms because they believe that the family can get along on one salary, whereas the man wants more money, for spending pattay girls saving or.

And sometimes, the woman wants a "better" lifestyle meaning more money than the man does. No matter who wants more money, this can become a massive area of contention for spouses.

If your "fancy" dates still don't seem to impress your girlfriend and her gooc live a lavish lifestyle that you don't even want to have, this will likely wuth an area of looking for a good woman to hang out with between you guys forever. Extroversion or introversion that you appreciate. Here is a key axiom of marriage and kids: However, this doesn't mean your spouse needs to match you on introversion or extroversion.

Sex. This is so important for men that I am giving it gay bottom ass position on the list.

Specifically, look out for these key issues, as they will never, and I mean never, improve: And if you know, deep deep in your heart, that you are marrying her HOPING that she develops a healthy sex drive one day due to all of your effort, versus marrying someone who already enjoys sex, then please recognize that this working out to yield a mutually enjoyable married sex life is very very improbable.

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